Profilo utente

Donna Tyler

Note biografiche So, we recognized it that everybody has the ability to make their own choices and to behave in whatever way they want to behave. However, there are consequences for every choice that we make. And so, a boundary that we put in place is actually a consequence to help the other person look at their behavior and determine whether or not it's working for them or not.

So, two things that we're going to talk about. The first is how to use boundaries to keep ourselves safe. And an example would be allowing other people to manipulate us or to use us. I'll give you an example. A few years ago, I had loaned some money to to a family member with the understand that that person would pay the money back to me. And as it turns out, I never got that money paid back to me. N

ow, I could go into that victim mindset and be angry and upset at the person that I loaned the money to. And I could hold that against him for the rest of our relationship. But the truth is I loaned that money to that person knowing who that person was. Now, I may have believed it that that person would pay me back.

But it was my choice. And so, I did that. And so, by not getting paid back, that's a consequence for my actions. And if I look at myself, I can say, "Well, why did I do that?" Was that money that I could live without? So, if I'm loaning it, am I making sure that I'm doing that to somebody that I know?

Does the money's gonna come back from where I'm like putting something in place to guarantee that money? I didn't do any of those things? So, the decision that I made to loan the money was all about me. And so, if I focus on me, I can learn something from that experience.

And in the future, when this person came to me and asked to borrow money from me again. In one situation I was willing to do that but I put different conditions in place or boundaries. So, in that situation, I made sure that there were other people involved.

##journal.issn##: 1234-1235